The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn

The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn

Some doctors liken it to a tree trunk. Others to a length of anchor rope. And still others compare it to a barber's pole. Whatever it's true dimensions, Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is stuck with a gigantic penis, and science can't help him.
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Diagnosed with Phallumegaly (bigness of penis) at a young age, Lorenzo von Matterhorn grew up without learning how to ride bike.. without being able to play little league (protective cups are too small).. without being able to feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. Best mac free photo editing software. And it looks as though he'll never be able to enjoy those everyday pleasures.
Recently rejected for yet another risky penis reduction surgery, Lorenzo is lost. Medical professionals are afraid to operate on his Neanderthal club-sized penis out of a fear of massive blood loss. 'When you've got a cannon like Lorenzo's, the risk inherent with an invasive procedure is simply too dangerous,' explains Dr. Emily Granverse of Institute of Phallumegaly. 'I'm afraid Mr. Matterhorn will just have to stumble through life with what seems like, in many respects, a third femur.' 
Alex wray mac tools. Lorenzo will have to wait for what might be a long, long, long time. 
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Lorenzo von Matterhorn gets a leg up on other billionaires. It is a third leg - see how LVM matches up against other billionaires. Www.bigbusinessjournal.com - Cached - Similar. Image results for Lorenzo von Matterhorn - Report images. Lorenzo von Matterhorn takes the record for. In a stunt only possible with special manly advantages.
Lorenzo von Matterhorn From Lorenzopedia, the free encyclopedia Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born somewhere in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. The exact date and circumstances of his birth are unknown since he was immediately placed in a basket and tossed in a river. Lorenzopedia, the free encyclopedia.
Jun 05, 2000 Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born somewhere in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. The exact date and circumstances of his birth are unknown since he was immediately placed in a basket and tossed in.
Lorenzo von Matterhorn From Lorenzopedia, the free encyclopedia Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born somewhere in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. The exact date and circumstances of his birth are unknown since he was immediately placed in a basket and tossed in a river.
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good. 
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone. 
The dialogue that follows should go something like this. 
You: 'Yeah. It's me.' 
Girl: 'Do I know you?' 
You: 'I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.' 
Girl: 'Are you, like, famous, or something?' 
You: 'Yes.. You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..' 
Girl: 'Shelley.' 
You: 'Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao.' 
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back.. 
You: 'Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?' 
Girl: 'Yes! Please.' 
You: 'What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?' 
Girl: 'Oh, Lorenzo.' 
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
Stinson Breast ReductionGet a The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn mug for your cousin Vivek.

PhallumegalyThe process of searching a building for an empty bathroom. A successful bowl search typically relieves the frustration of uncomftorably defecating around others, although in less frequent cases the desire to urinate alone is a factor. Bowl searching can be done anywhere although it is most prevelant on college campuses.
'In college I did a lot of bowl searching.'
'Sam went to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago. Jeez, what's taking so long?'
'He's probably bowl searching.'
The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn How I Met Your MotherGet the bowl searching neck gaiter and mug.
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